Mixed Drinks

by Steve Talbert

While stirring my mixed drink with a carrot, I realized that I had just made a terrible mistake. When my eight-year-old daughter, Gwen, asked me if she could make me a "healthy" beverage, I unwittingly said, "Okay," without comprehending the free rein of experimentation that I had given to a bright, creative (bless her heart) young girl. In hindsight, I know that my biggest blunder was saying, "Surprise me," because the phrase carries different connotations to a child. I expected lemonade, OJ or, perhaps, milk, while Gwen was mixing prune juice, tomato juice and who knows what else — although I did detect hints of Worcestershire sauce and vinegar. Lesser men might have refused the concoction, but I couldn't hurt my little girl's feelings, so I held back the tears and the urges to gag, while I quickly gulped the nastiest mixed drink that I had ever imbibed. The moral of my story is simple: Never, ever — not in a million years — allow your eight-year-old to mix you a drink, especially if it's supposed to be something "healthy."

6S - C3

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