Mixed Drinks

by Linda Courtland

White Rum was tired of Diet Coke's attitude. "They only want you because of me," Diet Coke would gloat, as young hardbodies asked for her at the bar. Rum turned to Vodka for comfort, but Vodka voiced his own heartache: "I'd give anything for a sugar substitute; the cloying sweetness of fruit juice is driving me mad." Later that night, Rum and Vodka summoned all the spirits and during a sacred ceremony, the liquid in each bottle magically changed places. As he dove into fresh-squeezed orange juice the next morning, White Rum reveled in the vitamin-enriched goodness before being whooshed into the mouth of a Vodka-drinker. He had hoped to discover a wondrous new land, a sparkly place where simple carbs could run free, but Rum learned something surprising about people that day: inside, they're all the same.

6S - C3

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