Mixed Drinks

by Bryce Carlson

When it comes to killing people, I like to do it with two things: a Bombay Sapphire Tonic on the rocks accompanied by a quarter-inch thick slice of lime and a little known element that always gets the job done - kindness. I literally smile at people until they develop liver spots and begin to decay. Two reasons: 1) Horribly unhappy cynics suffering untimely deaths put a smile on my face and, 2) The last thing these poor souls should see before they pass on to the other side of the rainbow is a glistening set of veneers under a pair of pronounced cheekbones. But for that matter, every person should have a Polaroid smile as their final memory. So when unsuspecting individuals take a harsh gander at me swishing my gin around, mixing the lime perfectly with the melting ice and tonic water, I set the old love daggers in my skull and watch them slowly perish. Then, I finish my drink.

6S - C3

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